The End, part Deux

If you've been to Ruin-Why before please continue reading, if it's your first time then please start by reading "The Beginning" and then follow the yellow brick road.

When we last left our hero he was enjoying the most delicious meal of ice chips. The day was Tuesday, the day of the now infamous barium swallow, it was at this point that I was informed I would be leaving the comforts of ICU and relocating to the um...hmmm...non ICU portion of the hospital. And so began the final nine days of my stay in Fayetteville.

If you've read my previous posts then you know of my troubles with the pain medication Dilaudid, if you haven't read any previous posts then shame be unto you. As I was wheeled into my new room I was also in the beginning stages of coming down from my Dilaudid high. It would take another two days before the drug completely left my system, mind you Larry was gone (don't ask) but my mind was still just left of sane. To illustrate please refer to my first nights sleep in the new room, my mind was thoroughly convinced that it was infected with viruses. Yes, of the computer variety, and what do we do if our computer has a virus, well we run an anti-virus program. Thus I didn't sleep all night because my mind was too busy running Norton anti-virus (I only wish I was kidding), well that wasn't enough because by God my mind must have been infected with spyware and adware so I had to install software to take care of those. This continued for two nights...thankfully on the third day my mind cleared. I finally was able to sleep this day and then the crying began.

Before I get into the whole crying thing lets recap, I've got six holes in my abdomen, a ten inch gash going down my stomach and a twelve or thirteen inch gash along my right side. Let's not forget the huge drain jutting out of my right side which is connected to this measuring container, I also had another small drain poking out of my side and God (and probably my wife) only know where that was connected too, and most importantly, the catheter connected to lil BIG. And a few hundred staples in a pear tree.......

When I came down from the Dilaudid I became very emotional, I'm not kidding, I would begin crying at a moments notice and over nothing at all. It all began when I received flowers from friends of the family, the moment the flowers entered the room I began to cry. I'm not exactly sure why, probably something about being so regarded and loved by so many people...yeah that's probably it. After the flowers anything would set me off, certain music videos, thinking of how wonderful my wife and mom (in-law) were being or nothing at all.

Emotional BIG lasted for a few days and then the oddest thing occurred Puberty BIG emerged. Now puberty BIG was fun for the whole family, one morning upon waking I immediately noticed that my voice was breaking and would be high one moment and low the next. This made for highly entertaining conversations with Nurses, Doctors and Surgeons, then came the pimples and pubic hair. Actually only the voice thing occurred but it was still damn funny for anyone within hearing range.

I realized that these last few days in the hospital all melded together, the only way to tell the difference between them was by which tube was yanked out of me when. The catheter was the first to come out and I'll go on record as saying that having a catheter yanked out sucks the balls. They always tell you it won't hurt, but they lie, God damn they lie. I'm lying there minding my own business and the nurse begins the yanking out procedure, after a second or so it becomes uncomfortable but nothing too bad, after a few more seconds it stops. I'm thinking to myself that wasn't so bad, that's when the nurse looks me in the eyes, and I swear I could see evil intent in those eyes, she asks me if I'm ready. Ready I think, for what, wasn't that it, but apparently no it wasn't, immediately the pain begins and I begin to scream. As the nurse pulled more and more I screamed louder and louder. It only lasted a few moments but by God I shall never forget that moment or that pain. Now please allow me the fortune of repressing said memory....going going going and gone.

Next both tubes were removed from my right side, the removal of these didn't hurt as much as just feel damn weird. I think because most of my right side was numb from the long incision the removal of both drains didn't hurt as much as it probably should. That numbness continues to this day, two months after surgery my entire right man boob is completely numb, even the nipple. This, of course, renders my entire nipple clamp collection useless, well the right one anyway.

So the catheter is out, both drains are out and things are beginning to look up, that is until I begin to retain fluids. It started with swelling in my feet and continued with my legs ballooning to twice their normal size, all because of water retention. As if this wasn't bad enough the fluids began to put pressure on my lungs and restrict my breathing. I just couldn't get a deep enough breath, I would get out of bed and move to a chair two feet away and lose my breath for ten minutes. Water blisters began to form all over my legs and then began to leak, it is just damn odd to feel water dripping down your legs and knowing it's from blisters. There was an easy solution for this situation but not a quick one, the Surgeon began me on diuretics, which immediately began to alleviate the fluid retention problem, though would help contribute to another problem at a later time. It was at this point I actually began to miss the catheter...well almost.

It was during this time that I experienced probably the most scary moment of my hospital stay. Mind you, for most of the serious happenings I was hopped up on pain medication and not really aware of my surroundsing or just in a deep sleep. Well, one morning I had just moved to my bed and was sitting there when I felt this warm liquid flowing down my side, it didn't begin with a trickle but a flood. I don't remember why but there was a nurse in my room with me and she grabbed a towel and pressed it to my right side while remaining calm and I believe asking my wife to call for another nurse. I refused to look, but I could feel the fluids flowing down my entire leg and soaking my gown I was wearing, I was petrified to see what was surely blood flowing like a river from my side. With my intense desire not to see what was surely my lifes blood being drained from me I didn't hear the nurse explaining to me what was actually flowing out of me. Eventually I found out that the drain on my right side had become clogged and thus fluid began to pool instead of draining properly, with too much pressure being exerted on the pooled fluids, the only possible solution was for the dams to burst and allow the pooled fluids to escape.

I'm sure I'm missing a few things but this has been a long post, I actually began this post at least a month ago and didn't think it was on par with the other three so I let it be for a bit only to come back a month later to finish.

It was at this point that I was finally released from my stay in Fayetteville, you might think this would be the end of the saga that is BIG, but by God you'd be wrong. We still have two more hospital stays and the tragic passing of BIG's Grandmother, and that will only bring us up to the middle of November.