The Beginning

I figured I needed to keep some sort of journal about what in Gods name happened over the past few months. I have other blogs, which are rarely if ever updated, but they are blogs none the less, and I use the name BIG to post with and will continue the epic tradition. The point you ask, well I use the name BIG because I am well...big. I'm not kidding, I'll cry myself to sleep tonight on my huge pillow (25 points to anyone who gets the movie reference).

With that said, a few years ago I seriously looked into the Gastric Bypass surgery. I live in/or around Durham, NC (don't try to find me, BIG isn't in the phone book). I applied for the surgery at Duke University, yes THE Duke, the famous one known all over the World. After getting poked, prodded, analyzed, a barium swallow here a thyroid test there and they decide to weigh me. At this time I was around 475 pounds, no it's not a typo, after all the tests were completed I was told that everything looks great and when I get below 400 pounds to come back and they would approve me for the surgery. I was shocked, the surgery was created for people like me, hell I am the exact reason the surgery was created and I was.....too heavy. So the 230 pound soccer mom could get the surgery but not my fat ass. A part of me understood their reasoning, I was a BIG health risk at my size and they didn't want to accept that risk even though I was. So I got all pissed off and found the low carb diet and lost 120 pounds or so and told Duke to [enter expletive here].

I gained it all back.

After I was married to the greatest woman in the whole wide World I just ate myself silly and probably stupid. Over the next two years I gained all the weight I had lost and found myself at the pleasantly plump weight of 480 pounds. At this point I think I was clinically past morbidly obese and entered into the fat fuck stage of my existence, I couldn't help myself I find that term so damn funny. My wife calls me one day at work and asks if I'm still interested in having the surgery, at this point I had given up hope that anyone would perform the surgery on me. She tells me that a surgeon in Fayetteville performs the surgery for anyone under 500 pounds. "I'm under 500 pounds" I exclaim and so it began.